The issue is love, but not LOVE in the thought of conventional terms. It is about an Unconditional form of Love, which includes this type of love towards oneself, as well as others. "Unconditional Love" is a Love that has no judgment attached to it. Its theme is total " Love or Approval of self", and of others and situations without making a judgment, that is, not wanting a change, but accepting people and situations "as is". This is the attitude endorsed by most religions and philosophies, as the way that leads to self realization.

But how is this non judgmental accepting done, and what is Love in the first place.?

As a Human Potentials consultant who teaches Expanded Consciousness, to Helping professionals and Management, one of the method being, the healing with the hands approach called Therapeutic Touch (TT), this subject is a major focus in my workshops. In implementing the method of TT we learn to use ourselves as healing instruments, overtly and covertly no matter where we are. In the health field we assist in mobilizing the self-healing capacity in our fellow humans, by transmitting energy charged with healing love and for this reason in either case the practice of non judgment is essential. Because of this, learning to achieve this state has been a major pursuit in my own development.

Currently Love is thought of as an emotion.( An emotion, I feel, has two separate aspects a feeling-sensation and an image-thought.) In my workshops, we also learn that love is energy with a vibratory quality which has a particular felt essence. This essence even has as a color frequency, the color Pink. Esoterically it is taught that the glue of the universe, that which holds all substance together is that essence which for humans manifests as the "feeling" of LOVE.

TT consciousness supports the principle of the holistic human being, that is, that humans consist of Body, Feelings, Thoughts and Spirit. The understanding as I teach it, is, that each individual has all the faculties to know at some level of their wholeness who they are and what is right for him/herself. One of the most difficult states to achieve in life is "Love of Self", consciously knowing who and what we are, and that whatever we are is acceptable. The physical or emotional Dis-eased state, as I interpret it, is a state of "Lack of love of self", where the physical body and the psyche is the metaphoric expression for that state. Due to this lack of love of self, we yield to the feelings of pain, fear, anger, powerlessness, having them become the dominating emotional factor, which in turn from the TT perspective, affect the physical vehicle at a somatic or psychosomatic level.

In everyday life, this emotional factor handicaps the individual in getting the most out of his/her life, preventing him/her from living the life to the highest of its potentials. For the physically as well as the emotionally dis-eased person this disempowered state interferes in the individual's capacity of accessing his/her self healing potential. Consequently in the latter case, taking on the responsibility of becoming a booster to help access this self-healing potential in another, is a very touchy thing.

Research has shown, that it is the "Intent" that brings about the change, and not the ritual motion of the hands, in the case of TT. . But if the "Intent" is to influence, by making a judgment that something that "we feel" the individual has "wrong" with him/her must be transformed to achieve a our particular desired outcome, such as a "curing the dis-ease" (erasing the symptom), so that we can experience gratification from grateful approval for our success, then this is a process of imposing one's will.

Energy transmission work such as TT or Pranoterapia, the Italian version of "laying on of hands", allows through techniques to "will a change" on another, that is, affect a dis-eased organ into change. However if this work is approached form a strictly symptomatic view point, mechanistically seen, a broken part to be repaired, disregarding the underlying purpose of whole being, then this kind of treatment becomes a prideful assumption that subject of the treatment does not know what is good for him/her. It is ignoring the whole, and the process it is creating for itself. I am using the above extreme examples to show that we affect events in every aspect of our lives, and that some of the results we get are as a result of our willing things so.

In the extreme case of Dis-ease, this is a way for the whole to teach itself possibly self-love, or at least self-respect, in that it forces the personality to pay attention to either the body, the emotional disturbance and the life process. Consequently imposing ones will to transform another directly, as in the case of a "healing treatment", is attempting to overpower that individual and manipulate that process. On the larger scheme of it, even that is a process that the individuals have co-cerate to learn, and there is no mistake.

Optimally the means of assisting the process of another is to let them take what they need and use it as they choose. In the case of Therapeutic Touch it is practicing non outcome orientated healing, by using the self or the hands as a helping healing tool. It is using oneself as a transmitter of cosmic non conditional love energy and simply allowing that to flow through, without controlling where it goes or what it has to do.

This theme of being a transmitter of Love, is the major theme of our life process, as I see it. To the average person, the word "love" means "being approving of" and "being approved of", i.e "I am loved, consequently I feel I am valuable or even invaluable". We have needed that love/approval from others to experience the value of who we are. Till now it has been difficult for most of us to experience that state of self-love that is ideal and we have been willing to go to great lengths to get that love/approval. In most cases when we experience the feeling "love", with its warm in the heart center feeling, there is with this feeling a conditional factor, a needing to influence. ( Influence from Latin Influent-em pr.pple of influere to flow in.),the exertion of action of which the operation is unseen to obtain a result, the direct action of matter upon mind or mind upon on matter, an exercise of power.

So one could say that the emotion of love as it has been experienced by the majority of people, is coexistent with the feeling of need, need of approval, of wanting to posses, of in the end effect wanting things or people as we want them, wanting to influence. Wanting influence is associated with having power, because "not being able to influence" generates in us a "feeling" of powerlessness. To create the illusion of "feeling powerful", we think we need to influence people or events. This desire for influence, because we feel powerless is at the bottom of most of human interaction, and wanting to change others or events for what is thought of "for the good of" out of what we think of as love or out of fear, is not trusting in the divine process and knowing of the others.

Being truly Powerful means being in harmony with self, in trust with the divine process, loving oneself means being in touch with the source of our being our divine essence. When we love ourselves we are powerful, because we know who we are and take on the responsibility of creating our life. And allow others to create theirs.

At the bottom of the "Wanting Influence" theme is a JUDGMENT, a judgment that someone or something should be different from what is. This "Wanting" "Influence" can be described as a feeling of "Lacking Influence/Power" and "Wanting" "Love" is a feeling of "Lacking Love". Wanting something means not having it or lacking it. The foundation on which this lack of Influence/Power or lack of Love rests, is a feeling-sensation. This feeling/sensation together with an image-thought, create the emotion. Too many or intensely felt "feeling-sensations" blur our ability to think clearly, consequently the thought part of the emotion is affected by the feeling. This creates emotions which through their distortion, handicap our ability to function with clear insight. This means that the "feeling-sensation" affects how we view a person or a situation. It is as if we see the world through dirty windows, and assume that, that is how the world is.

By learning to implement "Feeling Dissolve"© we are able to dissolve the interfering static of feelings and access an "insightful" aspect of our being. Instead of being dominated by the feeling-sensation/image-thought automatized emotional mechanism, which uncontrollably forces us to "react" to situations, generated by the sensation of "feeling powerless" or "of not being loved" ; we are able to learn to move into a space of acceptance of people and situations that give us the ability to discriminate and be "In a controlled state" full of "approval of self and others". This ability to release the feeling-sensation is the key to the transformative process that this method offers.

"Dissolving" or "Letting go" is the determinant to practicing non-judgment and Unconditional Love. However at least for me, the act of Accepting and Dissolving the sensation about a situation or a person has been for most of my life intellectual exercise, associated with painful feelings. I learned form one of my first teachers, the psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis, through his method of Rational Therapy to view people and events rationally, as unchangeable, and that we can only change our view, and this change takes place when we gain a certain amount of detachment. Dr. Ellis used to say "Look at an event as if it had happened 10 years ago, and then see if it is truly important in retrospect." the result of this introspection is usually that it is not. Rationally we are able to apply such a method, but what happens to the feeling? Practicing being in the flow, accepting things as they are, "letting go and letting God" does work to some extent.

After a prolonged period of Ego attachment and pain, events and the connected feelings simply get forgotten and seem to become unimportant. The feelings get put away in some part of our being, dormant so to speak. However at the first occasion that a person or a situation create a stimulation, these dormant feeling awaken and once again become the emotion that rulers our beliefs, reactions and actions.

So feelings continue to exist at some level. How do we deal with feelings?.

We can by the act of will pretend that certain feeling don't exist, have never existed, or have in fact gone away. This action is called suppression and it requires a great deal of energy. Suppressing feelings is one way of dealing with our feelings.

Living and accepting that we have the right to express our feelings is the therapeutic approach of the Humanistic therapies. The tactic is that we search for, look at and express our pain, anger, frustration, etc. accepting their existence at the moment by letting them explode or by reliving the emotion of the past experiences temporarily, becoming aware in the first place that we had such "suppressed" feelings and defusing their impact somewhat. Expressing feelings then is an other mode of dealing with feelings.

Feelings can also be avoided beautifully by running away from them. To avoid experiencing these suppressed feelings becomes the prime motivator of our existence. Feelings can be eluded magnificently by keeping busy, via work, sports, distracting activity in general, keeping as busy as possible from morning to night so as not to feel. Drugs, alcohol and any other form of addiction, form work-oholicism, to gambling can be another escape mechanism. This approach to dealing with disturbing feeling is generally considered the escape technique.

Becoming aware that feelings exist, and that they have to be dealt with is still a long way from Dissolving or Letting go of them. Hundreds of methods approaches have been developed to help us on our way. From the Strictest disciplinarian religious training and to innumerable therapies.

The great genius Buckminster Fuller, (creator of the geodesic Dome) said "Less is more", so it would seem that the easiest rout to self-realization is the shortest one. However because of our emotional coding, habitual behavior and belief patterns, taught customs, rules and rituals, we assume that to achieve a state of self love and to practice Unconditional Love, has to be a long hard painful process. It was, for past generations, excepting for some exceptional few. Now however, we are, through the present process of human evolutionary growth in awareness, in a position to administer fully or partially as is our capacity ways of accessing the immense capabilities that rest dormant as our human potential. To access these dormant capabilities it is necessary first however to clear the old disempowering misconceptions produced by fear and lack of trust. And here we are again back to the beginning theme, Unconditional Love.

Unconditional Love of self is trusting that we do not "Lack Love" and because we trust who we are, or " Love or Accept" ourselves, we also accept and trust others, their inherent wisdom and the wisdom or lesson learning quality of the events that we encounter. Because we are "In Acceptance" of our selves, and other, we no longer need to create the myriad of controlling situations that seem to grant us a fleeting momentary sensation of that approval. Consequently we slip from the feeling state of "Lacking Influence", to an "Influencing" insightful outlook. We then move form the lack of trust in what we can do or "Lack of Power" to the awareness that we can, that we are mighty "Powerful " beings and there is nothing that we cannot do or have, if we manifest the courage to trust and release our fears. Fears, again being lack of belief in self.

The basic emotional handicaps to reaching the state of "Love" of self and others are seven. Scaled according to the greatest energy needed to keep the individual in that state of being. The most energy consuming state, is the state of "Hopelessness", which expresses a state of extreme inability to do, depression, boredom, sleepiness are some other versions of that state. The second most energy consuming state, is the state of "Pain", the pain can overwhelm so much that it can push the individual into the state of hopelessness, but it can also push itself up into a state of anger. The third the state is that of "Guilt". The fourth the state of "Fear". The fifth the state of "Addiction" to anything or anyone. The sixth state is that of "Anger", and the last and seventh that of "Arrogance".

All the above mentioned states are in the "Wanting" - "Lack of Influence" or "Power" or "Wanting"- "Lack of Love" categories. As mentioned earlier these "wanting feeling states" obscure and distort the ability to have insight, and prevent the individual from taking action out of fearlessness and in a state of acceptance, inner peace and ultimately love.

The key to "Feeling Dissolve"© is the attitude of Acceptance. Understanding intellectually that everything that we want to change, simply from weather conditions; to the past; to the people around us, even in the most minuscule way, generates in us feeling powerless to influence it/them. Accepting this factor is the major hurdle. Through our inherent need for love and power (acceptance and influence) our Ego can create a massive series of convolutions that keep us prisoners of the illusions of our emotions for maybe, life.

"Me want to influence, never!" is usually the first reply. They have to change not I. And there we already have the first attempt to influence. The mechanisms that we implement to influence are as multiple as there are human beings on this planet. From the simple act of not liking what some one is wearing, to wanting someone to do what we want (i.e. going to the movies or a certain restaurant) the subtle use of guilt to achieve a result, included in this is the use of illness, using jealousy to get approval, using sex as a manipulative tool, not delegating work for lack of trust, making oneself indispensable to get approval, to imposed power plays as in bossiness, politics or religions. The influencing knows no sexual, cultural, religious, national or political barriers and it is not less so whether it is for the "good" or "to hurt" of another.

ANYTHING we want to change, by not accepting it as it is, generates in us a feeling of powerlessness of the inability to "influence" it/them , since we feel powerless or a LACK OF INFLUENCE, we WANT TO INFLUENCE. Wanting something means we do not have it, for if we had it, we would not need or want it.

"LACK OF POWER TO INFLUENCE" is an emotion that has at its basis a FEELING. Not accepting a human being as he or she is or a situation, is a feeling connected with a sense of helplessness that things are happening or that others are doing what they want and not what we want. This helpless "feeling" is unpleasant and so to avoid this sensation of " not having the power to INFLUENCE" we try even more to "influence", while at the same time not wanting to accept the existence of the basic feeling and so we attempt to suppress it.

The "experienced feeling" itself can have as banal a characteristic as irritation at the way a person swims, wanting them to swim differently, which is wanting to influence them. This is of course a ridiculous thing rationally speaking but the experience of the disturbing feeling is there non the less. And our days are filled with such minuscule feelings of displeasure, from what we read in the paper, see on Television or in the movies, acts such as how someone speaks, looks, behaves, drives, dresses, does, which accumulate and accumulate and accumulate; not to speak of, the major feelings of confrontation with partners, children, family, coworkers and simply stranger, that accumulate and etc.. And if we are not happy with the above accumulation of feelings we can want to transform and get upset about the current situation in politics, the stock market, the weather, and so on and these accumulate and etc.

The problem is that all these disturbing "feeling" of anger, sadness, fear, jealousy, hopelessness, etc. are unacceptable, we would like them not to exist. They disrupt and we would like to push them away. The result is that for each action of a person or event that we want to influence we experience two feelings, one the feeling generated by the situation and the second the feeling of wanting to suppress that feeling. The feeling that gets us into trouble though, is not the first feeling, it would be acceptable if we would just let it be, it is the need to deny that, that feeling exist in the first place, or the second feeling that we experience that uses the energy.

If we imagine a pot of simmering water, as a series of accumulated feelings, every time we deny a feeling it raises the temperature of the water, which starts to boil. The more it boils the more the lid starts to rattle. To keep the lid from rattling wildly or blowing off it has to be held down. The more the water boils (accumulation of denied feelings) the more energy is need to keep the lid on. If we release or let go of wanting to suppress the first feeling, that is if we let go of the second or denial feeling, by accepting that we want to change the first feeling,( be this a feeling that comes from wanting influence or of wanting love, depending on the situation,) then this is as if we raised the lid of the boiling pot and let out some of the steam. The result is that the lid can rest quietly for a while, while the water goes back to boiling until a new head of steam builds up.

Experience shows that the moment the suppressing feeling is accepted by letting the "not wanting to feel that feeling" go, the issue or event becomes defused and the energy created by that feeling changes. When the quality and quantity of energy generated by feeling changes, the outlook towards the event changes, in the most amazing way. From a momentary intolerance towards a person or event the outlook can change to one of neutral indifference and acceptance. Not only does the energetic dissolving affects our attitudinal change, it allows for change in response from the other in the dynamic interaction between two people. In more subtle applications, letting feelings dissolve, such as guilt, fear, anger or arrogance, can bring about changes in events that seemed insurmountable. We can take action with a fearless attitude. If enough dissolving of feelings is done, by letting go of the "not wanting to feel that feeling", eventually we go into a state of total acceptance, not of apathetic "giving up" resigned, acceptance, but a dynamic state of non judgmental acceptance. Not having to use a lot of emotional energy making judgments and wanting to suppress one own feelings, transform other people and the world can lead to a state of accumulated energy that can be used in positive creative way. This state of low energy consumption, eventually leads to non struggle state of peace. This state of inner peace allows for the expression of non judgmental unconditional love for self and all that is.

To reach this state however we have to have a considerable amount of introspection. That is, a rational understanding of when it is that we are making a "Judgment", what it is that is motivating us to make that in the first place. And this is were the categories come into play. We have to be able to admit that we are experiencing a state of hopelessness, pain, guilt, fear, addiction, anger or arrogance, and that the reason for that state comes from "wanting/lacking power" or "wanting/lacking love". For example not liking how someone swims, would definitely be "wanting to influence" from a place of arrogance, based on the assumption that one can swim better and that person does not swim as well, but should be able to.

So how does one proceed to release this pressuring feeling?

I will illustrate the process using the case of the swimmer, you can change the sport to one of your preference or you could to try to follow these steps using a lightly disturbing situation of your own, just to have an experience of the result. I am making the process longer for clarity's sake. Now to the example, I asked myself Q.)"How do I feel about the way that lady swims?

A.) "I don't like her style." (that is the 1st feeling, the feeling of being disturbed, the feeling emitted by the JUDGMENT.

Q.)"Where does that feeling come from?"

A.)" From Arrogance, (should swim better) assuming that I know more about swimming."

Q.) "Is that a feeling of wanting love or wanting influence?"

A.) "Wanting to influence how she "(swims, to swim as I want her to). All the above questions and answers still relate to the 1st feeling.

Now comes the key question related to the 2nd feeling

Q.) "DO I WANT TO FEEL THAT "FEELING" that I am unable to INFLUENCE her?"

and the key answer, A.)" I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THAT FEELING"

With this statement I am admitting that the disturbing feeling exists and that I want not to feel it, that feeling that I am powerless.

Now comes the dissolving part:

Imagine that you locate the feeling some where in you body, try to figure out where it is that you feel that feeling. In your stomach in your throat, your heart or any where else, even your head.

Using your creative imagination, give that feeling a form.

Anything that comes to mind. A cloud, a stone, a rock, a flower, wood, a tar clump etc. Your imagination is your limit.

Once you are observing so to speak your feeling, by giving it that form, start stroking the area where the feeling is located, as if you were dusting yourself off, but into the air, away from your body. You might notice that it feels warm, that air (energy) that you are moving out and away.

At the same time observe your image, is it changing?. Is the form changing? the color? Does it seem to be disappearing? Stroke it until it is totally gone

When the image is gone, imagine filling the space with light, l candle or the sun, or use a flood light, then think about the situation or the person. How do you feel now? Has the situation shifted for you? Could you fill the space with light ?

If not, try to think about the situation again, maybe another feeling will come up to be noted. Go though your process again. Until you re able to experience the even, without feeling anything. Feeling detachment. Or it could be as if it went far away, never happened , does not matter, or you can have a new insight, a new understanding that you did not have before.

When I do "Feeling Dissolve"© I have a sensation, a felt feeling of an energetic opening up in for example the Solar Plexus area that is like a cloud moving away. I feel the energy shift. Then I go back to look at my swimmer and ask myself the following Q.) "How do I feel about the swimmer now?" and the amusing thing is that my outlook has changed to one of total indifference, she can swim as she wishes it is not disturbing, none of my business, it is her swimming not mine.

At that moment I move from a place of "feeling powerless" (needing to influence others) to the place of "Acceptance" (let them be as they are) and I don't have the feeling of powerlessness anymore.

The general remark about this procedure is "Well then all it is about is, that I have to accept the fact that I am i.e. angry." The principle of this method is not about the intellectual process that is associated with the thinking part of the emotion. This method dissects the emotion into its component parts, the though and the feeling. It is dealing with the feeling, the felt-sensation that is experienced at some level of our being. What is it, that we are feeling, i.e. hopelessness, pain, guilt, fear, addiction, anger, arrogance, and how do these feelings affect us energetically and others. By accepting that the feeling exist, and pulling it out, we are able to move the stuck energy out.

In TT we say that we unblock the "Feeling body", consequently changing the energetic emanation that is part of the dynamic of human interaction. By dissolving the pressure we can change our outlook, and are able to move into a new space of awareness. The amazing thing is, that as we dissolve the energy emanations, the other no longer needs to react to our emanations, (attitudes of fear, anger, arrogance etc.) and so human interaction and events transform easily. The less energy we use to suppress the feelings the more energy we have to be creative, but creative for example not from a pressure point of anger, which would be a place of "feeling powerless", instead from a place of having power, from a place of acceptance, from a dynamic full of energy place.

To be able to function in ones personal and work life from a an energetic palace of Acceptance and Fearlessness is the optimal mode of action. Because as the feelings are dissolved and detachment takes its place, we are able to make emotion free decisions with insight. Our interaction with others comes form a level of purity of behavior and not the underlying motivations. We are able to move into the non-judgmental space, accepting things and people as they are. Which brings about a much more creative interaction. We are able to emanate and channel that frequency of Love that is called Unconditional.

As we move more and more into that space of non-judgment of ourselves and others, we realize that in the end it is not what others do or what is happening that matters. What is essential is how we react to these events. We begin to understand that each interaction, rather than being something that is being done to us, is in fact a an opportunity in the form of a test to see what part of our being has not been resolved. If we react in anger, it is not because the other makes us angry. Dr. Ellis taught me years ago that "No one" can make us angry, we make ourselves angry because of our expectations. If we had no unresolved anger in us the anger could not be stimulated. So we become angry because we hold anger, and all the provoker is doing is challenging us to become aware of that unresolved anger in ourselves. The "Feeling Dissolve"© allows us to accept that the emotion of anger is there, gives us the opportunity to asses where it comes form and allows us to dissolve the feeling. If we see other people as someone testing us, we soon come to understand that the whole process of human interaction is a continuous mirroring to us those areas of our being that need to be worked on.

It has been said "The master sees only perfection." For the master there are no imperfections, because the others no longer challenges the Master. There is nothing left in the Master to resolve, and consequently to the Master the other appears perfect. So we understand that any thing we find imperfect in the other is really that which is imperfect in ourselves.

Every judgment we make is our doubting Ego letting us know that it does not believe in it's own Perfection and Power, and consequently not in that of others. If we understand the dynamics of mirroring then we understand that the other is perfect in everything he/she does, for they are in effect doing what we need them to do, what we want them to do. We understand that everything is as it should be and that we are creating everything so that we can learn from it, to dissolve it and become detached from it. We realize that the more we dissolve the less we need to be challenged. This is when we truly understand that there are no mistakes, there are only lessons to be dealt with and as a result this helps us reach a point of empowerment and inner peace. And from this point of inner peace comes the ability to practice Unconditional Love. To accept ourselves as lovable by allowing the love that others mirror back to us to resonate. To give love, by becoming with "intent" channel of love, to become love and like love wells, let others help themselves of this love as they choose or need. This is living "loveingness" in its highest frequency.